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How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Breakup? A Genuine Answer


Dear heartbroken soul, you're probably wondering, like countless others before you, how long this heavy, sinking feeling will last. Take a deep breath; you're not alone.

The Complexity of Emotional Healing

Time may be a constant, but emotional healing doesn't have a stopwatch. While some well-meaning friends might tell you "half the time of the relationship," Dr. Janice Vilhauer writes in Psychology Today that "there's no timetable for grieving." The truth is more nuanced.

The Factors at Play

Research in psychology indicates that several variables contribute to how quickly you move on. For instance, someone in a 10-year marriage may take longer to recover compared to someone who had a 3-month fling. Your personal coping skills also matter; some may resort to exercise and therapy, while others might indulge in unhealthy behaviors. Furthermore, a strong support system can accelerate healing but if you shared the same social circle with your ex, navigating social situations can be complicated. These are not variables in a simple equation; they interact in complex, unpredictable ways.

Your Personal Journey

While one person might find solace in a couple of months, you might find that unfair comparisons to others' healing process only deepen your pain. Dr. Helen Fisher, a renowned anthropologist specializing in romantic interpersonal relationships, states that "Love is a natural addiction, and breaking it takes time." Focus on your journey—each day you grow stronger.

The Science of Healing

Brain scans reveal that as time passes, the neural connections linked to emotional pain and attachment begin to weaken. Take comfort in knowing that each day is a step toward emotional freedom.

Stages of Breakup Recovery

The journey of healing passes through several identifiable stages, each with its unique challenges and lessons.

  • Shock: The first stage is one of disbelief, confusion, denial, and withdrawal, where the reality of the breakup has not fully sunk in yet.

  • Purge: This stage involves an emotional purge, a time to let out intense feelings of sadness, anger, or even fear.

  • Comprehension: At this point, we try to understand our feelings and reactions to the breakup, both physically and emotionally.

  • Awareness: This stage involves a truthful examination of the relationship, discarding any illusions or biases, to understand what went wrong and our own contribution to it.

  • Reconciliation: Here, we have to accept the breakup, find forgiveness for ourselves and our ex-partners, and appreciate the lessons learned, viewing the breakup as part of our own personal growth.

  • Reinvention: The final stage is about envisioning and shaping the future, where we redefine what we want, both in a relationship and in life.

Ready to Navigate These Stages?

My Breakup Recovery Guide provides a structured approach filled with exercises that will help you move through each stage with insight and emotional support. Click here to learn more.

Your Healing Toolbox

  • Mindful Moments: Instead of obsessing over the calendar, focus on the present moment.

  • Journaling: A dedicated space to articulate your thoughts can accelerate emotional processing.

  • Talk About It: Lean on friends, family, or professionals to externalize and understand your emotions.

The Silver Lining

Remember, this painful chapter has its own form of hidden grace. It's a chance to rediscover who you are outside of a relationship. It's an opportunity to rebuild, stronger and wiser than before.

So How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Breakup?

There's no universal answer to how long it will take to get over a breakup, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Your path is your own, unique and valuable.

Take The Next Step Now

Don’t prolong your healing journey. Take charge by arming yourself with the tools, strategies, and support you need. My Breakup Recovery Guide is just a click away. Take the next step now.


Who is Bastian?

Bastian is a certified Life & Mindset Coach specialized in Breakup Recovery for women, helping them bounce back stronger and more confident than ever. 

When You are Ready, here is where to Start:

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A Self Study Course designed to help you Navigate the Emotional Rollercoaster, "Detox" from your Ex and Heal from a Breakup.

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The 7 Step Breakup Recovery Road Map

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